It's Only Paper
by licensedtobuild
Summary: A fight between Beckett and Josh brings tragedy to the 12th.  Rated T for F-bombs.
1. The Day Before

The day before, they fought for the first and only time. Kate had screamed until her lungs burned and her eyes watered, and Josh had left in a huff, slamming the door on his way out. He had torn her mini-murder board off the windo, causing her to snap and fling her coffee mug at his head. Thankfully, she missed, nailing the wall behind him.

"How could you?"

"Kate, it's _paper_!"

"She was my mother!"

"Paper won't bring her back!"

Kate froze, a horrified look dawning on her face. "Get. Out."

"Kate, it's my –"

"Get. Out!" she screamed, grabbing her gun and aiming for his chest. She left the safety on, but Josh, who didn't know his guns, threw his hands in the air anyway.

"Jesus! What the fuck is wrong with you?" he shouted. "You're not the girl I fell in love with!" With that, he was gone. The silence following his departure was deafening. The apartment felt stark and raw, and empty without him there. Tears sprang to Kate's brown eyes and began to drip down her cheeks. She had just pulled a gun on an unarmed civilian, a man who had posed no threat to her or anyone around her and she was horrified with herself. If the Captain ever found out –

Her cellphone rang startlingly, the Beatles' _Paperback Writer_ echoing through the hallways. She exhaled heavily, trying to clear the pain from her voice. "What, Castle?"

"Well, Detective Beckett, I was in the mood for a trip to the Old Haunt and was hoping you'd join me. From the sound of things, you need a drink. Care to join me?"

"Now's not a good time, Castle."

"Come on, Beckett. Just for a drink. It'll take your mind off things."

If only he knew. She sighed. "Twenty minutes?"

"I look forward to it. Farewell, Detective."

"Bye, Castle."

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

She took a deep breath before pushing the door to the Old Haunt open. Her day was already ruined and she didn't need him to see her in tears as the icing on the cake. She saw him seated alone in a booth, nursing a beer and reading the day's paper. When he finally noticed her, his face broke into a wide boyish grin and he rose to greet her, his hand outstretched in an odd, almost cordial fashion. She stopped in front of him, and suddenly felt a wave of emotion burst through her, tears spilling down her tired cheeks.

"Oh, Kate," Castle said softly, and he wrapped his muscular arms around her shoulders. "It's okay. Shhh. It's okay." All dignity lost, Kate sobbed uncontrollably into his coat, feeling her anger at Josh flood out of her. Castle was rubbing her back with one hand and smoothing her hair with the other, and she couldn't help but relax just a bit; her father used to do the same thing when she was upset. Once she had calmed down a bit, they settled into the booth across from each other and the bartender set a beer in front of her. "Do you wanna talk first, or drink?" Castle probed. Kate didn't answer, instead taking a long draw from the bottle. They sat in silence for a while, drowning in their own thoughts and the bitterness of the beer. Finally, Kate spoke.

"I kicked Josh out." Castle's jaw dropped. "He destroyed my murder board."

"Shut the front door! That asshat!" Castle shouted. Kate wiped a tear from her eyes as Castle put a hand on her free hand.

"Castle, can… can I stay with you and Alexis tonight?" She knew the question was a loaded one, but she asked anyway. "I really… I can't spend the night alone. Not now."

"Of course," Castle said. "Alexis is out with Ashley tonight anyway, so we don't have to worry about her. Come on, I'll take you home." They stood together, abandoning their half-empty beers. Castle tucked a few bills under the bottles, and wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulders, squeezing ever so gently. He could feel her curling closer to him as they walked out of the Haunt.

"Thanks Castle," Kate whispered.

"My pleasure," Castle responded, waving his hand out and hailing a cab. Like a true gentleman, he opened the door with a flourish and allowed her to slide heavily onto the seat before he sat himself. Neither of the noticed the figure lurking in the shadows of the awning, watching them depart.


	2. The Day Of

The day of, Kate woke alone, curled up in Martha's old room (Martha had moved to Los Angeles for a role on some soap opera). Despite her expectations, Castle had not attempted anything funny that night, just tucking the blanket around her and kissing her forehead before departing to his room. She sat up, and tossed her long legs over the edge. Castle had loaned her a pair of his pajamas, which were about three sizes too big for her thin frame, but were quite comfortable to sleep in. The alarm clock next to the bed was flashing 6:47, which meant that she had to be at the precinct in a bit over an hour.

She pushed the door open slowly and snuck out of the room as quietly as she could. Castle enjoyed his late nights and she didn't want to wake him up this early. Her plan was to just get some juice and head back to her apartment, but, to her surprise, Castle was already in the kitchen, futzing with something on the stove.

"Ah, you're up! Just in time too: I'm making pancakes!" he exclaimed joyfully, causing Kate to laugh. The last time he had made pancakes, a body had been planted in front of her door, and Ryan and Esposito had accused the two of them of having sex. "There's juice and coffee on the counter," Castle said loudly, ignoring her laughter. He looked half-asleep at this point, and Kate smiled at the idea of him burning the pancakes.

"Thanks, Castle. That's really sweet, especially since you look like you're about to pass out into the batter." Castle grinned sheepishly, and yawned. "Here, give me that." She took the spoon from his hands and ladled out the rest of the batter onto the skillet. "Since you're up, do you want to come into the precinct with me?"

"Sure. I could always use another cup of monkey pee and battery acid." Kate laughed, agreeing with him that the coffee there tasted as foul as Castle had said.

X

Kate and Castle walked out of the elevator together, and down the hallway to her desk. Castle had two coffees and was attempting to gesticulate with them. Laughing, Kate took one of them and took a long sip. She was always grateful for Castle, especially when he took her mind of off something that was bothering her. They sat together at her desk, Castle in his usual seat and Kate in her wheelie chair. Castle was still talking away about something Kate was half-listening to, but she smiled anyway, enjoying his passion about leotards or leopards or whatever he was talking about.

Castle's phone went off suddenly causing Kate to chuckle; what had possessed the man to make _California Gurlz_ his ringtone was completely beyond her.

"It's Alexis' favorite song!" he tried to explain.

"Well, what's my ringtone?" she prodded with a grin. He didn't answer, instead opening the phone.

"Hey, sweetheart. What's up?" He rolled his eyes at Kate, who turned back to her desk and started reading from the file on her desk. Castle disappeared around the corner, talking animatedly over the phone and gesticulating wildly again. Sometimes, Castle just infuriated Kate, but times like these made her glad she had kept him on as a partner. He was a really good guy.

"Kate," a cold voice said behind her, causing her to jump. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.

"What do you want, Josh? I'm working."

"I just want to talk." The coldness of his voice was giving her goosebumps.

"Josh, I kicked you out. I don't want to talk to you." She heard a click behind her and cold metal at the back of her head. Her blood ran cold at the sound she knew all too well.

"I think you want to talk. Conference room." She stood, feeling the gun pressed against her back and Josh inches from her, breathing on her neck. A shudder ran down her spine. She opened the door and walked in, glancing around for something she could use to defend herself. _Oh, what's the point? I can't defend myself from a shot point-blank._ She turned to face him. The gun was aimed at her chest.

"What's this about, Josh? Are you mad that I kicked you out?"

"Oh, we both know you didn't mean it." His voice was unnervingly calm. "We both know that you were just mad and that I would come back tonight to my girl."

"No, Josh. You tore my mother's murderboard out of the window."

"It was just a piece of paper."

"Josh, she was my –" A loud _pop_ echoed through the small room. Kate stood frozen for a second before her legs gave out under her. Her breathing came in short ragged gasps. Her hand found its way up to her shirt, soaked through with blood. _Oh my god, he actually shot me. Somebody help me. He shot me. _

"That oughta hold you." Josh turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Kate heard someone male scream her name, another _pop _and saw the Captain hit the floor, his eyes glassy and unmoving. _Captain. He killed the Captain. Come on, get up, Kate. Get up and get out of here. _She pulled herself upright and staggered for the hallway. The door felt like it was made of lead, but she heaved it open, the effort making her head spin. She could feel blood dripping down her torso, and fell to her knees again, the room slowly going black.

"Kate! _KATE!_" She saw a shadow running towards her. "It's okay. We're gonna get you out of here! Somebody call an ambulance!" Pain shot through her body as rough hands pressed on her stomach. "You're gonna be okay. I promise." Someone was shouting, and she could see someone close the Captain's eyes. She opened her mouth, trying to formulate a coherent sentence. She always thought she would die from a bullet, but not from her ex-boyfriend. The son-of-a-bitch shot her. Only one word was running on a loop in her head as she lost consciousness.

_Castle. _


	3. The hours after

An hour after, Kate woke up, vision blurred. She could feel an oxygen mask pressed against her face and could see a face over hers, staring down at her. Sirens were wailing and she could feel the movement of wherever she was; she was moving very quickly. Her fingers grabbed at the oxygen mask, trying to pull it off her face. A larger hand was immediately on top of it, gently pressing it back onto her. She felt nauseous and her entire torso was roaring with pain. _Castle_.

X

Castle had Kate's hand in both of his for the entire ambulance ride. His heart was racing, and his chest was aching; he had left alone and someone had shot her. Right in the fucking precinct. The same bastard had killed the Captain. And Castle had left Kate alone. _Please wake up, Kate._ He touched her cheek as gently as he could and felt tears dripping down his cheek. _I'm right here, Kate. I'm not leaving you ever again._

"_Kate!" he screamed, watching the detective fall to the ground. "Kate!" he dropped his phone and sprinted down the hallway to her. She lay crumpled on the floor, and was struggling to breath. A black stain was soaking through her blue shirt. Oh my god, she's hurt! He tore her shirt open to reveal her toned stomach, punctured with a large bullet hole that blood was pouring out of. He immediately ripped his jacket off and pressed against the wound, struggling to staunch the blood. "It's okay. We're gonna get you out of here! Somebody call an ambulance!" he shouted, panicking as he saw her eyes slowly close. "Kate! Stay with me! Come on, stay with me!" _

_It took ten minutes for the EMT's to reach the two of them. Kate had lost a lot of blood and was looking very pale, but Castle kept checking her pulse and she was still hanging on. "Sir!" one of the EMT's shouted. "We've got this!" Castle finally scooted himself back and watched them load her onto a gurney and run to the elevator. He sprinted after them and ran into the elevator as well. "Sir!"_

_ "Please, I can't let her die! She's the… she's my muse!" Castle pleaded, his voice shaking with terror. The EMT finally nodded and they ran together out of the precinct to the waiting ambulance. After they got her in, Castle clambered in after her and grabbed her hand. "Please don't die, Kate!"_

X

Two hours after, Kate woke up. She was in a gurney being wheeled very quickly down a very bright hallway. It had to be a hospital. She still had an oxygen mask on, and she was in agonizing pain. When she groaned, she heard someone shout next to her, "She's awake!"

"Don't worry, Detective. We're taking you to surgery. You're going to be fine." Kate tried to tug off the mask, managing to slip it down to her pale neck.

"Castle?" she whispered hoarsely, and someone shouted near her.

"I'm right here, Kate! I'm not leaving! I'm not –" Her vision suddenly began to swim, and everything began to fade.

"Castle, I..."

"We're losing her! Get a crash cart in the OR _now!_"

"Hang on, Detective!"

"No! _Kate!_"

X

Castle followed the gurney the length of the hallway, sprinting after the doctors. He had heard something about emergency surgery, something punctured, and panicked. The doctors had tried to stop him from following her, but he nearly broke a few doctors' bones in the process, so they gave up and let the crazed and terrified writer follow them. She still hadn't woken up, and Castle's panic was starting to make him nauseous. _She can't die. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, don't let her die. _Just as he prayed, he heard her groan. Before he could stop himself, he screamed, "She's awake!"

"Don't worry, Detective. We're taking you to surgery. You're going to be fine," one of the doctors said calmly. Castle saw Kate grabbing at the mask.

"Castle?" she whispered hoarsely, the mask around her neck.

"I'm right here, Kate! I'm not leaving! I'm not going anywhere!"

"Castle, I..." Her voice dropped off and her eyes closed. _No!_

"We're losing her!" another doctor shouted. "Get a crash cart in the OR _now!_" _Crash cart? Aren't those only for people who are… NO!_

"Hang on, Detective!" A nurse placed the mask back on Kate's face.

"No! _Kate!_" Castle screamed.

"I'm sorry, sir, but if you want us to save your girlfriend's life, you have to wait here so we can do our job," a doctor explained, putting a hand out to stop Castle. "_Please_ wait here. We'll keep you updated as much as we can." With that, he turned and jogged back towards the gurney. Castle remained rooted to the floor. _Please, she can't die._


	4. The Day After

The day after, Castle was sitting at Kate's bedside. She still hadn't woken up from her surgery, and he was still worrying himself into exhaustion. The intubation tube was still helping her breath, and her pulse was remaining steady since she had gotten out of surgery. Even so, Castle was worried sick about her. The doctors had come in a few times and tried to convince him to go home, but he hadn't moved out of his chair for since they had let him in. She was so pale, and she looked so small in that hospital gown that Castle couldn't leave her alone. Without realizing it, Castle had begun talking to the unconscious detective in front of him.

"Kate, wake up. Please. I need you." Suddenly, everything Castle had been holding back came pouring out his mouth. "I can't believe I left you alone. I shouldn't have done it. If I had known he was coming, I would have stayed and protected you. I mean, I know you're a totally badass cop and everything, and you don't need anyone to protect you, but I should have been there. I should have taken that bullet, not you." He paused, not sure what else to tell her. "Your ringtone is _Lucky_. You know, _Do you hear me? I'm talking to you, across the water, across the deep blue ocean, under the open sky, oh my, baby, I'm tryin'._" Castle grinned sheepishly. "I know you hate the song, but I played it for you anyway once, and you couldn't help but smile a bit at the cheesiness of it all. Plus, the chorus fits… _Lucky I'm in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where I have been, lucky to be coming home again…_" He paused for a second to wipe the tears from his rough cheeks. "I love you, Katherine Elizabeth Beckett. I know it's stupid to confess it to you while you're unconscious and, frankly, it kind of ruins the moment, but the songs finally make sense. I'm so scared, Kate. I can't lose you. You're my muse, and, what can I say? I'm a one-cop guy."

With that, Kate Beckett opened her eyes.

X

"_I'm so scared, Kate. I can't lose you. You're my muse, and, what can I say? I'm a one-cop guy." _The voice sounded far away, but Kate grabbed onto it and pulled herself back. Her eyes felt like they weighed three tons, but she opened them slowly, her vision too blurry to make anything out.

"Kate?" It took her a second to recognize his voice. _Castle?_ Something was in her throat, and she began to cough and gasp. "She's awake!" Castle shouted. A nurse walked quickly into the room, and slowly pulled the tube out Kate's throat after giving her a quick once-over. She coughed a couple of time before collapsing on the bed in pain. "Oh thank god you're awake. I was so worried about you!" She could feel Castle squeezing her hand, and, as her eyes got clearer, could see tears streaming down his stubbly cheeks.

"Castle?" she moaned hoarsely.

"I'm right here," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Castle, the Captain?" She stared at him, silently praying that he would tell her the doctors had miraculously saved her mentor's life. Instead, Castle sadly shook his head, and Kate looked away, feeling tears stinging her eyes.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you."

"Castle, shut up. It wasn't your fault. It was…" She wiped the tears out her eyes as she remembered what had happened. "Castle, where's Josh?" Castle looked at her with a mixture of horror and disgust.

"Why? The oaf tore down your mother's murderboard! You kicked him…" She looked away as he paused. "Oh my god. Kate, Josh shot you, didn't he? _Josh_ killed the Captain." Kate nodded, a tiny gesture of agreement, but it caused Castle to drop her hand, and slam his fist against the bed. "The fucker! I'll kill him!" For the first time in nearly two days, Castle stood up and stormed towards the door.

"Castle, wait!" Kate's plea made him freeze and turn back to her. The anger in his eyes was genuinely frightening, but she stared into them anyway. "I thought you said you weren't gonna leave me." Castle slumped a bit, and slowly made his way back to the chair, sitting heavily in it. Kate reached out and grabbed his hand again. "So, you're a one-cop girl, huh Castle?" she asked with a devilish smile. Castle stared at her in shock.

"You… you heard that?" Kate's grin grew with the blush that was creeping up Castle's cheeks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was really sweet."

"Well, it's true," Castle said. They sat in silence for a while, Kate still smiling and Castle still a very bright shade of red.

"Castle, you never told me what my ringtone is," Kate said, causing Castle to laugh sheepishly.

"Kate, you were shot and you want to know what your ringtone is?" Kate nodded, raising an eyebrow at him. "Fine, where's your phone?" It was on the table next to her bed, and Castle grabbed it, handing it to her. "Call me." Kate pushed two buttons, and the two of them waited until Castle's phone began to ring.

_Lucky I'm in love with my best friend._

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again. _

Kate stared at Castle, who couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Castle? I hate that song."

Castle found himself talking again with no control over what he was saying. "I played it for you once, and you smiled a bit, which leads me to think that you don't hate it as much as you say you do. Plus, it fits. You're my best friend, and I care about you more than anything in the world. It kills me to know that I wasn't there for you." His voice cracked, and he flushed again. "You're my best friend, Kate, and I love you. The songs finally make sense. I love you, and I will protect you until the day I die. You light up my life. I know I can be incredibly frustrating sometimes, believe me, Alexis has mentioned it, but I really care about you. I'm in love with my best friend." Kate sat up gingerly and wiped the tears from his face. "I know you just broke up with Josh, but –" His hoarse voice was silenced as Kate pressed her lips onto his.

"I love you too, writer monkey."


	5. Three Days After

Three days after, Castle checked Kate out of the hospital. She had recovered from her wound spectacularly, although it was nearly impossible for her to walk. Castle had spent every moment with Kate, playing card games and reading aloud chapter drafts from his newest, and thankfully unnamed, Nikki Heat novel. Ryan and Esposito had been by to visit as well, bringing flowers and good news: Ryan had seen Josh shoot Kate and had managed to catch up to and arrest him on the sidewalk outside the precinct, allowing Kate to exhale in relief.

Castle had called a town car to pick them up and take the two of them back to his apartment, despite Kate's protests that she could take care of herself. Castle had effectively demanded that she stay with him and Alexis until she healed, and Kate had finally conceded. Thus, she found herself dressed in a t-shirt and sweats that Castle had brought for her, seated in a wheelchair that the writer was pushing towards the exit. Already should could see the camera flashes from the paparazzi that would inevitably interrogate her. The second the automatic doors opened, the cacophony started.

"Nikki! What happened?"

"Castle, when'll you release your book cover?"

"Nikki!"

"Who shot you, Detective?"

"Are you two official yet?"

"Nikki! Over here! Give us a smile, won't you?"

The flashbulbs were making Kate's head spin, and, in her efforts to look away from the blinding light, her stomach had reacted with agonizing pain. She turned to look up at Castle, who was trying his best to wheel her through the crowd. When he looked down at her, she gave him the most pleading look she could manage, and he looked sadly down at her, nodding.

"Pardon me! Excuse me!" Castle shouted over the din. "The detective is injured and she needs rest!" Somehow, the paparazzi parted enough for the two of them to squeeze through and reach the car. Being a cordial gentleman, he opened the car door for her before putting her arm over his shoulder, effectively lifting her up and putting her in the car. As he closed the door, Kate could see him wave at the paparazzi, flashing them his charming grin, before he circled the car and climbed in on the other side.

"Tim, my apartment, please," he said.

"Of course, sir," the driver responded before the partition buzzed up, leaving them in peace.

"Thank you, Rick," Kate whispered after a few minutes of driving in silence. She was staring out the window, watching the skyscrapers pass. She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder and heard the voice that had come to reassure her whisper back.

"Always."

X

"We're here, Mr. Castle," Tim said quietly.

"Thank you, Tim. Best to your wife," Castle responded, handing the man a few bills. Tim opened the door for Castle, who scurried around to open Kate's door. "Kate," he whispered; the detective had dozed off. He set the wheelchair up next to the door before coaxing Kate awake. "We're hear, Detective." She rubbed her eyes, sighed, and yawned, before sliding herself out the door. As Castle lifted her to her feet, she groaned, pain radiating through her torso again, before staggering to the wheelchair and slowly lowering herself in.

"Well, Kate, what shall we enjoy for dinner this fine evening? We could order in?" Kate rolled her eyes, but felt herself blushing anyway. She had never had a man other than her father treat her this kindly.

"You're enjoying this far too much, Mr. Castle," she said, smiling slightly at his gentlemanly habits. He laughed heartily as they boarded the elevator.

"Well, since you put it that way, Detective, I am. I like you a bit incapacitated." Kate let out a snort and swatted his hand, making him yelp. "Ow! Alright then. How 'bout Chinese?" Despite herself, Kate smiled.

"Chinese sounds perfect," she said as Castle pushed her off the elevator towards his apartment. "Is Alexis home?" Her question was answered as Castle opened the door.

"Detective Beckett!" The redhead was on her immediately, squeezing the detective's shoulders gently, but enough for the injured woman to grimace, a gesture that Castle saw.

"Easy, Alexis," Castle said, a note of concern in his low voice. "Let her rest a bit."

"It's alright, Rick. I'm fine, Alexis, just a bit sore, that's all," Kate interjected. Castle offered her an arm, and slowly lifted her off the wheelchair and onto the couch. "How about that take-out, writer-monkey?" she probed with a grin. Castle smiled back, nodded his agreement and turned towards the kitchen. Once he was out of earshot, Alexis sat next to Kate, her bare feet tucked up under her, and stared at Kate, who was looking back a bit nervously. "What's up, Alexis?"

"You called him Rick, and you didn't look like saying it tasted bad," Alexis stated as though she was explaining the simplest fact in the world, and Kate felt herself flushing.

"He saved my life, Lex," she stammered. "The least I can do is respect him enough to refer to him by name." Alexis raised a thin eyebrow.

"Did he tell you about your ringtone?" Kate laughed.

"How did you know? And why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh, come _on_. He's my dad! I know everything about him. I practically set up his phone for him. And I didn't tell you because he asked me not to." They were silent for a minute before Alexis said something that made Kate erupt into laughter so raucous that her stomach whined with pain.

"You kiss him yet?"

"Alexis!"

"What, Detective? I may only be a teenager, but I've seen the way you look at each other. He loves you, and I think you love him too." Kate's flush had turned her entire face bright pink. "You _did_ kiss, didn't you?" Kate rolled her eyes, a smile cracking the corner of her lips. Alexis grinned and leaned back on the couch. "I knew it," she declared. "It's about time, too. You make him really happy." The doorbell rang suddenly. Castle came darting out of the kitchen, a glass of water in hand, and opened the door. Kate could see the delivery boy standing in the doorway, a stack of cartons in his hand. Castle paid the delivery boy and brought the cartons into the coffee table, sitting himself heavily in the armchair.

"Chicken for Alexis and beef for Kate," he declared, handing each woman her box. They ate together, watching an Abbott and Costello movie. Alexis left about halfway through, claiming something about homework; however, as Alexis walked up the stairs, Kate could see her pause, glance down, and smile just a bit at Kate and Castle before disappearing into the loft. Castle took the disappearance as an opportunity, and he got up to shift himself to the couch that Alexis had vacated. Kate had stretched out a bit, her brown eyes half-closed.

"Rick, don't even think about it," she whispered with a smile that Castle returned. He stretched his arm out over her shoulder, and coaxed her into his chest, an action she accepted, resting her hand on his stomach.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he whispered back.


	6. Two Weeks After

Two weeks after, Rick and Kate walked back into the precinct. Kate was nearly healed, though she would likely be put on paperwork duty for a few weeks, and she was really glad to be back. They had linked hands during the elevator, and Rick squeezed gently as the elevator pinged. The second the doors opened fully, Kate let go of Rick's hand, seeing Ryan and Esposito waiting for them.

"Well, well, Beckett. You just couldn't stay away, could you?" Esposito said with a laugh. He opened his broad arms, and Kate grabbed him, squeezing tightly. "Good to see you again, Kate. I do have to say, though… you look good in a hospital gown." Kate laughed and pushed herself off of him, whacking him on his thick shoulder.

"Yeah, Kate," Ryan added. "But it's good to see you upright again." He stuck out his hand and Kate shook it.

"It's good to be back, guys. I do have to admit that the time off was relaxing," she said with a smile. She glanced at Rick, who had a smile creeping up on his clean-shaven face.

"Kate," Ryan said slyly, "did Castle make you pancakes this morning?" He winked with a smile, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Okay, enough with the interrogation! Don't we have murders to solve?" Kate and Rick sat in their respective chairs, leaning back in unison.

"Not yet, Beckett. But we do have some good news for you." Esposito came over and leaned on her desk.

"Oh, really?" Kate raised her thin eyebrows, encouraging the thick man to continue. Esposito hesitated for a second, taking a long draw on his coffee.

"Josh has been arraigned, and will probably be going to jail." Kate's jaw dropped with a combination of shock and relief as she slumped back in her chair.

"So… the Captain?" She looked first to Esposito, then to Ryan, pleading with them to tell her that he was okay, even though she had watched him die. She prayed silently that it had just been an illusion. The Captain couldn't be dead.

"I'm sorry, Beckett," Ryan said gently, shaking his head. "He didn't suffer, though." Kate ignored him, spinning around in her chair and walking quickly towards the conference room. Her breath was coming in ragged gasps, and she could feel tears burning her brown eyes. Thankfully, the conference room was deserted, so Kate made a beeline towards the espresso machine, cranking heavily on the handle.

"Kate?" Kate jumped, but kept herself focused on the coffee.

"Please, Rick. Not now." She felt a hand on her shoulder, and the tears slowly began to drip down her cheeks. "I just need…" Her head fell forward and her shoulders shook with sobs. Rick slowly turned her around and pulled her into his chest, squeezing her tightly towards his chest, and rubbing her back in small circles.

"It's –" he began before Kate cut him off.

"Don't say it's okay, Rick. It's not okay. He was my teacher. He was my boss. He was my –" she stammered, "my f-friend. So it's not okay. It's my fault. It's my fault he's dead. If I had just let Josh yell, Roy would still be here. If I hadn't kicked him out, my boss would still be alive." Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, and she rubbed at them roughly. Rick took one of her hands and squeezed it gently while wiping her cheeks with his other hand.

"Kate, it was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. All of this rests on Josh. This is all because of him. You didn't do anything wrong." She stared up at him, holding back the tears, and blinked a few times before Rick gently placed a hand on the back of her head and pressed his lips against her forehead. Her eyes had closed gently, and she relished in the touch of his lips on her skin. She pulled herself away from him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his lips.

"Thank you," she whispered as she pulled away and walked out of the conference room, completely abandoning her coffee.

X

Kate settled herself back in her chair a few minutes later, content that she had erased every shred of evidence that she had been crying from her face. She turned to face the manila folder on her desk and flipped it open to the first page. Some heroin addict had gotten himself stabbed in an alleyway; immediately, her hopes of solving this case plummeted to nearly zero. The fucker had a habit of getting into skirmishes, plus the drug history would make it almost impossible to tie his murder to one person. Rick returned as well, bearing an espresso cup that he set in front of her, earning him a small smile as she wrapped her hands around the warm cup.

"Detective Beckett!" a sharp voice declared behind her, causing her to abandon the cup and spin to face the source. A tall man with a goatee was standing front of her in a black suit, a badge in the breast pocket of his jacket. Kate fought to keep her composure as she leapt to her feet.

"Commissioner Lovett. What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to meet with you in Captain Montgomery's office." Kate raised an eyebrow in confusion, feeling her eyes burning again.

"Sir?" but Lovett was already walking towards the open door, and Kate could do nothing but follow him. Rick had stood with her and squeezed her hand before she pulled away and walked into Montgomery's office. Lovett had settled himself against The Captain's desk, and Kate sat on the couch opposite him, locking into his icy blue eyes.

"Detective Beckett, in light of Captain Montgomery's death, it has come to my attention that the twelfth precinct is in need of a new leader. Someone with experience, drive and passion. Someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to solve a crime." Kate showed no sign that she had registered what the commissioner was saying. "Detective Beckett, I would like to make you the new captain of the twelfth." Neither person spoke for a second, but Kate could feel the tears in her eyes again.

"With all due respect, sir… I can't. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to lead. You should make Ryan or Esposito Captain," Kate stammered.

"Well, with _all due respect_, Detective, you are far more ready than you may think. The second you received your badge, I knew that you were someone worth paying attention to. I've watched you grow as a detective, and I've seen your drive for justice do nothing but flourish in the past few years. I knew that, should anything ever happen to Montgomery, he would have an incredibly talented detective to take his place." Kate smiled, feeling her face burning and her heart racing. Lovett continued, "As commissioner of the New York City Police Department, I hereby declare you Captain Beckett, head of the NYPD Twelfth Precinct Homicide Department." Kate stood in shock to shake Lovett's hand and accept the captain's badge Lovett had extended to her, not noticing that Rick was standing in the open doorway, grinning like an idiot. "Congratulations, Captain."

Kate's mouth suddenly felt very dry but she was able to clear her throat and stutter, "Th-thank you, sir," before Lovett turned and departed from his office. Kate stood in stunned for a second before Rick coughed, causing her to start and look at him.

"Well, Captain Beckett?" Kate looked at the floor.

"Rick… I don't know if I can do this." Rick walked up to her and leaned against Montgomery's desk.

"Bullshit, you don't." Kate stared at him, her eyebrows furrowed in surprise. "Bullshit. You are the most talented, smartest and most badass detective I have ever met. Like he said, you are perfect for the job. You can most definitely do this."

"But, Rick, what if… what if I disappoint him?" Rick wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Not a chance. In the last three years, I have never seen Montgomery disappointed with you, unless you count the trip to L.A." Kate smiled at the memory of sneaking out and trailing her police academy teacher's murderer to California. "I can guarantee that Montgomery's looking down on you right now, grinning his ass off and sipping martinis in a hot tub with Jesus right now." Kate laughed at the image of her boss that Rick had put in her head, and swatted his shoulder.

"Thanks, writer monkey."

"Beckett?" Esposito walked into Montgomery's office. "What was that all about?"

"Kate here has been promoted to Captain," Rick declared, a hint of pride in his voice.

"Seriously?" Ryan stuck his head through the door. "Dude! Did I call it or what?"

"I guess this calls for a celebration. Drinks on me tonight at the Haunt," Rick said.

"Count me in!" Ryan and Esposito said together, causing the four in the room to laugh.

"I guess you have work to do, Captain," Esposito said with a grin. "Do us proud." He squeezed Kate's shoulder and Ryan patted her back before they left the office together.

X

Kate and Rick arrived at the Old Haunt to see Ryan and Esposito already seated at the bar watching a basketball game and sipping beers. Two glasses had been placed in front of the empty stools next to Esposito, and Rick and Kate claimed them.

"About time you two lovebirds got here. It's almost halftime," Ryan said, spinning to face Kate and Rick.

"Well, here we are," Rick said quietly.

"Yup. Here we are," Esposito agreed sadly. Kate took a hold of her glass and was about to take a long sip of it, but was cut short by all three men staring at her.

"What? A girl can drink, can't she?" she asked rhetorically, feeling a pull at her heart. Things felt decidedly lopsided without Captain Montgomery drinking with them.

"You're forgetting something," Ryan said and Rick raised his glass.

"To Captain Katherine Beckett. May you find strength in your friendships and passion in your work. May you never forget the light, even in times of darkness and may you always remember to let your hair down every once in a while. May you be everything you dreamed of, and more. Here's to the best detective this side of the Mississippi." Esposito coughed loudly, but Ryan whacked him on the shoulder.

"Dude. You know it's true," he whispered just loudly enough so that Kate could hear him. "To Beckett."

"Hang on," Kate interjected. "I appreciate the sentiment, Rick, but I can't take it all. Can we raise a toast in memory of the man who taught us all how to be good detectives? The man who taught me everything I know about being a cop?" She lifted her glass. "To Roy Montgomery, our boss, our teacher, our… our friend."

"To Roy." Four glasses clinked together and Kate took a long sip from hers before setting it heavily on the bar and letting her hand fall with it. Rick placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it gently.

"You're a phenomenal detective. You'll be brilliant," he whispered, kissing her temple, but she didn't look at him, choosing instead to stare at the photo of Montgomery someone had hung in the bar. "He's enjoying martinis with Jesus." Kate smiled gently.

"Lucky bastard."

**The End.**


End file.
